I Wouldn’t Advise It


Things I do not recommend:

  1. Resting your forearm in a paint tin lid.
  2. Looking at the internet from the waist down (the comments are rarely good).
  3. Falling asleep with wet hair.
  4. Borrowing a stapler without asking.
  5. Touching chilli seeds with bare hands.
  6. Engaging with Ricky Gervais.
  7. Getting a haircut or tattoo to infuriate another person.
  8. Inhaling while eating.
  9. Jamming your thumb in a door.
  10. Sneezing into an open container of glitter.
  11. Sharing a deep seated opinion about someone else’s parenting (guilty, like 1000%).
  12. Sunburn.
  13. Beginning a sentence with, “It’s none of my business, but…”
  14. Criticising a roast dinner if you didn’t have to help cook it (learned this from someone else, cheers!).
  15. Treading on Lego.
  16. Pinching your tricep in something.
  17. Fruitalicious.

This is one of the very teas that kicked off the, “I am not a fan of fruit teas,” bandwagon I have so happily ridden before expanding my fruit tea horizons. Even at a 5 minute brew it looks insipid. And it tastes insipid. It doesn’t even have a stand out flavour, it’s just vaguely ‘fruity’. I guess this one needs a crazy long brew time, but I’m not bothered to try it. It’s too much work for a tea that, at its very best, is going to taste like fruit. No thanks.

Fruitalicious: 1/5
Enjoy with: sitting on something pointy



Here is a list of things I don’t understand:

  1. People who flat out refuse to try tea. Ever.
  2. People who ‘found’ French Earl Grey and don’t need any other tea in their life.
  3. Horror films.
  4. Putting more than 2 sugars in a hot beverage. You don’t want a drink, you want a cake.
  5. Why losing weight is so difficult.
  6. People who go into T2, bypass the smelling table and ask, “Do you have any green tea?”
  7. Soccer hooligans.
  8. State of Origin.